last days and first days

What an emotional week it’s been.

As I mentioned, I took some time off from work to enjoy the last few days of summer with Abby before she started preschool. We had a really nice and quietly eventful few days. Abby wanted adventure and also needed to be close to home so we went to parks that we don’t go to as often but are still close to home. We picnicked in Sausalito; outside the city but still only minutes from our house. We went shopping for school shoes and I let Abby pick both pairs – black mary janes and pink fuzzy boots.

She tested independence. In Sausalito, she wanted to walk the 30 or so feet to Daddy all by herself. At the park, she told me to stay put while she went in search of someone to play with. But she also asked me to go on the big kid slide with her. And she sat in my lap at home. A lot.

The last day before school, she cried out of nowhere several times. She’s a worrier, that girl. It feels as if she is keenly aware that this is the end of babyhood, the end of an era and she is mourning that loss.

And of course, I quietly burst into tears more times than I can count while sitting at my desk at work. Marcus was the one to take her. It’s harder for her to say goodbye to me. Thanks to modern technology, I received email updates and photos every few minutes (how did our mothers live without this?). I saw her smiling and ready at the front gate, no longer afraid. Or maybe just putting on a brave face. I saw the first friend she made. I saw her play dress up with a group of girls. What bliss that must have been for her. All her current play dates are boys.

I met her and Marcus after school. She was tired and hot. In true San Francisco fashion, the sun decided to show itself on the first day of school. After weeks of 50 degree weather, it was almost 90 degrees yesterday.  She was quiet but in good spirits. Processing the day.  Later in the evening, she began to sing a song she learned at school, danced around the house and told stories of her day.

In short, she had fun. She’s still getting used to the idea of being a “school girl”. But that’s the kind of kid she is. She’s cautious. She’s also adventurous. Can one be a cautious adventurer? I think so. This was a big adventure for her and she’s ready to go back tomorrow.

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9 thoughts on “last days and first days

  1. I do have tears. I’m lost in thoughts of this time, so long ago, in my own life with my daughter, an only child, was suddenly not a part of my whole day. She was off playing and learning with other people.

    My heart is with you as you begin this long and often painful process of letting go, bit by bit, thank goodness we have years.
    When we dropped my now grown daughter off at the airport this weekend, for her to fly back to Seattle, she was crying, I waited until we drove away.

  2. That is such a special post…I am in tears….so emotional…Your cutie is so lovely and you are amazing:)
    Kisses and have a great day:)

    ps: I am hosting a great GIVEAWAY, so please join in:)

  3. Pingback: 5 « …

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